16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
BRING THE BAGELS
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
