Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Randomize
