"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
