Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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