dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Randomize
