this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
