hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
