Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Blood and glitter go together right?
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The uberlube is also flammable
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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