does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
