if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
