i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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long story
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weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
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