I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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