I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
