At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize