gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
whose parrot is this?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
