when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
