i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize