Acid is not a monday night drug
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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