he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
