He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize