the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
