Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
