Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
