She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
