i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
