There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
