So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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