I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
