The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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