Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
