I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
