I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
