Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
