You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
