My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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