FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Randomize
