I would go down on you faster than GM stock
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
