goodnight i made you a song goodbye
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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