Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
i drank out of a bidet.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
