I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
