Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
