My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Randomize
