We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
