You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
