I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
