OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
