Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
