only if we run a train.
done.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
