laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
