I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
