in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
