she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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