Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
