He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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