A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
