Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
two words...techno handjob
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
