im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
