So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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