Moan for me like Helen Keller
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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